When I started testosterone injections four weeks ago, my physician pointed out that going on testosterone would basically be inducing menopause. I didn’t think much of this statement until a few days ago, when it happened: I started getting hot flashes.

This is not something that’s supposed to happen when you’re 25. Dear Universe, I am sorry for all those times I made fun of my mother when she was menopausal.

Today after work, I needed to stop at the grocery store to pick up some things for the dinner I was planning to fix for myself, my partner, and our friend who was coming over. As I got off the bus, I felt a hot flash coming on; by the time I got into the produce section of our tiny neighborhood grocery store, I was afraid I was going to pass out. I did my best to focus, grabbed the produce I needed, and then turned my attention to dessert. I saw a jar of hot fudge on a shelf, picked it up, and put it in my basket, thinking that ice cream with hot fudge sounded lovely. I then turned and began making my way toward the ice cream aisle.

Halfway there, however, I found myself feeling confused. Why was I going to get ice cream? This store had gluten free cookies! I found some cookie options for myself and my dinner companions, and made my way toward the register, still hot and dizzy, feeling like I had accomplished a huge feat in holding it together long enough to get my grocery shopping done.

As I unloaded my basket, I suddenly found myself holding a jar of fudge, wondering how it got there. And then I remembered. I thought about telling the clerk that I didn’t want it, but I was too discombobulated to manage conversation, so down the conveyor belt and into the bag and home with me it went.

And that is how I ended up with accidental fudge.

When I got home and told this story to my partner, ze thought it was so hilarious that it merited not only a singular blog post, but the beginning of an entire blog about my transition-related adventures.

So here it is, folks. Accidental Fudge.